Tanuki - http://seimoe.shrinemaiden.org/ Please go here and vote for Alice! says:
.. "Cilia are small microtubules used for locomotion." WHY CAN I NOT THINK OF THIS SENTENCE AS ANYTHING BUT DANCING

Word [SACwhacked] says:
Because it isn't anything more than dancing.

Word [SACwhacked] says:
Kylie Minogue is in ur txtbook, invading ur bioz.

Tanuki - http://seimoe.shrinemaiden.org/ Please go here and vote for Alice! says:
More like Kylie Minogue is in my throat dancing away the pathogens

Tanuki - http://seimoe.shrinemaiden.org/ Please go here and vote for Alice! says:
Jesus christ that is probably on par with relating acids and bases to seme and uke.

Tanuki - http://seimoe.shrinemaiden.org/ Please go here and vote for Alice! says:
I hate myself.

Oh god this is actually the most hillarious thing in existance

( You won't get it unless you're Emily, though. )

And so it ends.

The tears are gone, for now; they will probably come rushing back from moment to moment as the need arises. But for now, I have simply... emotion. It's bounding up together in one tightly-wound package, fighting for perseverence, for dominance. One moment I can laugh at the moments we all spent together, the next I feel waterfalls stinging at my eyelids at some realisation or another.

It's all cancelling itself out, back to the blank apathy of normality-- no, not quite.. some point between optimism and pessimism, between happiness and sadness, but still attuned to whatever force that is quite distinct from uncaring. Chaotic neutral? ahahahaha. Strange, nonetheless.

Funny. A writer who cannot express something-- who has no words which would appendage this day without them becoming trite and meaningless.

I think I might write a less pseudo-emo-poetic-bullshit entry-- tomorrow. Tomorrow, when there's some kind of distance between then and now. And a distancing for myself.

Found this on chizuri's journal. Would not have considered doing it if not for the tantalising suggestion of her drawing Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei art. SZS makes me so unbelievably happy.

In any case I do warn you that if you sign onto this deal with me, well, I can't draw very well at all. But hey!

"The first 15 people to comment on this post get to request a sketch of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal (optional - but very much appreciated if you're an artist). Post all fandoms you're willing to draw for."

...fandoms? lol wut. Series? Just about anything I'm familiar with, which is plenty enough. If it's moe, shoujo, has a lot of girls in it, or is a reasonably recent series, chances are I'll know it.

ell oh ell I haven't posted in like, aaaages. I may do so at some undetermined point in the near future. Post a real entry, I mean. For now, enjoy this!

She is cuter than you. Seriously.



Go here for more photos. The first two are of her parents. One of the photos has me in it, so shield your eyes (a beast in the well on your hand?).

Her name is officially Tikaani. It means 'wolf' in some Inuit language. She's 7 weeks old and is absolutely adorable. She's clingy to me, refusing to go or stay outside unless I'm around. She is, however, surprisingly intelligent. She's already mostly toilet trained, it seems! Amazingly. And she's already figured out how to open the screen door.

She barks and whines at her reflection and is still confused at her collar, however.

Love her. <3333

I guess.. this is something of an ultimatum.

( But first: contextualise. )

Mechanical Disco (12:25:15 AM): >:| hailey
Mechanical Disco (12:25:19 AM): You haven't made an LJ post
Mechanical Disco (12:25:23 AM): for april
Mechanical Disco (12:25:23 AM): MAKE ONE NOW
Mechanical Disco (12:25:27 AM): EVEN IF IT SAYS
Mechanical Disco (12:25:30 AM): BRAEBRAE IS MAKING ME MAKE AN APRIL LJ POST
Mechanical Disco (12:25:33 AM): >:0
Randomy Dragony (12:26:14 AM): ... 'k. xD

So let's see, what's up? A lot of nothing. Really. I've done so little, and I like it. The few things I have done...to anyone else would probably be pittance; a poor excuse for a life. And perhaps they are. But suffice to say it keeps me sane, if not bemused at life - but happy? Well, I'm not sure I can be at the level my dear The Bulk appears to hover at as of late.. but I'm just too apathetic to dance in some life-enriched fervor. We shall see, we shall see.

Today I had an optomotrist appointment, and I'm expecting the only people to notice the new glasses as of week two term one will be the ones who read these digitised scribblings. When I go back next week... I... want to cut my hair. I doubt I'd look particularly good with short hair, but I find myself attracted to it as of late.. the inner dyke surfacing, anyone? *snort.* But, no.. something entirely different. I want to wear the things I like, dance around with mismatched colour schemes and furry footpaws. I want to be able to express myself.. I want people to see that girl over there, and go oh, her, I know about her... I don't care if people think I'm weird, strange, a freak; I encourage it, I know I am, I know I always will be... I'm happy like that. I just.. it occurs to me I know nobody, I don't talk to people, I'm scared, too scared, if they see me, what they'll say, what they'll think, and then I'll be sent down into a spiral where society will beat you up in a way they can't get arrested for. It's kind of a strange, illogal cycle: I don't care if people think I'm strange... but I do want them to like me. In some weird, strange way I know I'll never fathom - I want them to like me, smile when I say hi, call me up in the middle of the night because they haven't seen me in two years (and repeat ad infinitum)...

... jesus, where was I? Why do I have such a horrible tendency to descend into emo rants about absolute nothingness?

I made a weblayout these holidays.. lookitplz, and you can login as guest/guest if you want to see the private area. I'd like any feedback if possible. And yes, it is a Pern roleplay that my lazy ass will eventually complete.. heh.

I.. what have I done...? Days merge into an endless hastily cellotaped mash of nothingness.. I don't remember when I went to Kat's and squealed over men in suspenseful situations (feeling straight? Me? hooooooly shiiiiiit) or when I downloaded and cried over all the one-shots on Lililicious or or when I drew a naked catboy wearing ribbons or when I nearly cried because of playing Silent Hill in the early hours of the morning or when I finally got past one part of Phoenix Wright 2 only to despair over another (and at Adrian in general) or when I decided I wish to cook melonpan or when I stayed up all night watching Rage or when I felt awkward about looking at /cm/ or when I laughed at people dying or cried at people living or when I moodswinged from 10-to-1 faster than you can blink (oh wait that's all the time sorry guyz).. these are so far away but I know I did some of them yesterday... or was it the day before? Three, four, more? Weeks, months... years? It's all the same.. it's so far away, so separate from the "now", the now that never seems to creak forward with a lumbering, battering ram pace.

It's coming again, and I'm avoiding it: what I haven't done, what I know I won't do... it's going to hit me in the face and I'm going to sulk about it... but some part of my mind simply can't gain motivation, can't gain momentum, can't bother to be anything but an apathetic mass of ...what now? I don't remember..

This sounds so angst-riddled but it's not, really. I'm not particularly sad about all this. Just... observing. Like some deity, separated from the populace; like what I write about in my Advanced English ditties, what I hope to bother with in Extension 2... some disillusioned deity... wahaha, myself as a God, now that's an amusing concept. But.. it's just noticings. Noticing how things just seem to be so... impermanent, god damn you crazy Buddhists. Guys, does this mean I'm going to bang! orgasmreach Nirvana?

Ahh... I should be happy with what I have, who I am. I'm well off, I guess.. I have people I love, people who love me: people whom I'd never, ever let go of. People who make me so happy. People who I can be myself with, talk about anything, tease and be teased with, laugh over stupid stuff, cry on the shoulder of...

But then there's me, I suppose. The me whom I just can't seem to.. seem to.. come to grips with. Can't seem to accept that the combination of amino acids, hormones and upbringing is in some good, wholesome, deserving form.

Fuck, why don't I like myself?!

... so much for the lack of emo. lulz.


tl;dr: <3plz. gb2/cutting self/, emokid. is it can be hugs tiem now pleez?

Well, it's over. (And no, we're not talking about anything to do with English Extensions. They don't exist. Got it? Good.)

Overall I'm fairly confident (minus chemistry), considering my lax attitude and overall laziness. Not really as good as I know I could do, but hey--I like my lifestyle where I do next to nothing and get decent (no, better than decent, really) grades.

And yeah, the only reason why I'm not angsting about my apathy is that I'm on a fangirling high. And the only reason I'm not angsting about the major aspect of myself that I hate...well hey, see that fangirling high again. (Whoring out the university's internet connection to download half of Lililicious over the past week really turns me into an uber-romantic, squealing, totally heterosexual, normal, well-adjusted human being.)

I'm worried that Bernadette (as in the guinea pig--the grey one is Bern and the brown one is Gabrielle. Yes, that is Bern-from-Flipside and Gabby-from-Xena. I know, I need to die) is pregnant. D: She's so fat all of a sudden, and not nearly as much as Gabrielle.. plus, she has this like.. skin irritation or SOMETHING. I might want to take her to the vet, at least for the skin thing.. and then ask if she's got some kidlets in her or something. If she DOES... well, hey, anyone in the market for a new pet?

Now I think it's time for some quality time I've been missing out on lately: vector tracing a screencap from Marimite OVA 3, rewriting that story I wrote for English paper one, working on my overly-pedantic RP site, watching trashy mahou shoujo anime, and playing Ragnarok Online. I'm such a terrible person. *Grin.*

So yesterday I got a thing from the post office, saying that there was a package for me to pick up! I was confused, of course; I hadn't ordered anything, and nobody had mentioned sending me any late birthday presents, or anything. We got home too late to check, though, as the P.O. shuts at 5. So, I pondered over it all today.

GUESS WHO HAS GIRLY VOLUMES ONE AND TWO NOW.

OH MY GOD AND VOLUME TWO IS SIGNED. IT HAS. AN AUTOGRAPH. FROM JOSH LESNICK. ONLY THE FIRST SHIPMENT OF IT GOT SIGNED. IT EVEN HAS.. MY NAME.. AND IT HAS A QUICK DRAWING OF WINTER... OH MY GOD. <333333

NICK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. *SQUEAL*

I'm so hyper right now because of it and it's like kehehehehehehe. >wwww<

Oh and exams are progressing fine except for chem which I failed. yeah. haha. >.> I'll post about them all when they're done. yays.

...

GIRLY! :DDDD AHAHHAHHA ^_____^

And no, I'm totally not doing these to avoid studying. Not at all. (Yay, sketchymurr and achenar!)



I'm so lame. :(



What does your drawing say about YOU?

Clearly my drawing > you. Except the questions sucked...because none of the answers really applied... D: And no, I didn't use my tablet, I was too lazy to plug it in. Plus that'd be unfair!

Meet my new babies. xD

They're still currently nameless. ;_; Some suggestions or ideas I've had are various flowers (Iris, Lily, Rose, whatnot), Haruhi, Sakura, Suiseiseki/Souseiseki, Meg and Jo... well, I dunno. I'm having trouble coming up with the best name for them. >_< IDEAS PLZ?

They're still pretty scared, but the grey/pepper one is much calmer than the other. They also have the uncanny ability to climb on top of their Pigloo (yes, it's exactly what you think). And I don't even know how the hell they do it.

Hm..

I'm such a god-awful person. (What? Angst on the Ides of March? Oh, Livejournal, you so funny.)

I just opened my presents from mum and dad, and it's like...I'm trying my hardest to go "oh, yay, this is cool", because mum trumpeted on about it for so long, but, really...this is why I buy my own presents, guys. And I feel horrible about it, heh.

Present she kept bugging me about: guinea pigs! Two little girls, in their own wheelable cage. I actually guessed this--my thought was either guinea pigs or puppy, and I knew it wouldn't be the latter. I just.. keep thinking.. it's.. the worst time for them. See: looming monster of HSC.. pets are the last thing I need to worry about... and not to mention--what if I move out to go to university? Are we sure wherever I stay would allow them? God, this is because I kept saying "whoa I want guinea pigs!" at Oakvale Farm (when we went there for Jaydon's birthday), so I suppose it's my fault, lulz.

Others are 250GB external harddrive, decent headphones, 2GB thumb drive, and weird wall hanging-y things. It's sad the only thing I really appreciate are the last: probably $2 things from Go-Lo or something, too. the thumbdrive and HDD are.. completely superfluous of each other. I don't need the thumb drive because I have a fucking 250GB monster ready to drag around--but on the other hand, I wanted the thumb drive because it's not huge and expensive. Now I just have another drive to waste by dumping mega-loads of downloaded anime onto it. And the headphones--not so bad, but ironic in that I decided that I would query about decent speakers for my birthday, heh.

Sigh... I feel so bad for being infinitely critical. They're gifts--I should appreciate them for that. But...

"You're better than a dream"--at least there's one gift I appreciate heartily today.

Happy White Day! Also, Happy Pi Day!

Birthday is tomorrow, woot. I don't really care too much--and my mum keeps bugging me about the present she got me, which is confusing and annoying. I have no idea what it is, and as an aside, I'm not like "WHOA BIRTHDAY WHATISPRESENT AHHHH" and so forth. The older I get, the more apathetic I'm becoming towards events such as this...oh, well. Still, this means the obligatory family-member-dinner tomorrow night, which I dislike, as I'd much prefer to be speaking with my friends online than wasting time around the dinnertable...and hey, it also means that the childspawn of Danielle will be there too, assuring me of no enjoyment whatsoever. *rolls eyes*

In other news, the sin of watching Demashitaa! Powerpuff Girls Z is starting to wear off a little. I'm just mildly addicted, though--kind of like the whole squealing sensation I get towards Deltora Quest, purely because it's like, whoa, childhood, but in anime form. The ending theme is, also, top-quality. Infinitely groovy. <3

I'm really enjoying this whole "Michael not living in the same house as me" phenomenon. It's really quite nice. The fact that a week after shopping and there's still a lot of food left in the fridge and pantry is such a novelty! And not having random crap left everywhere for no reason. Or having to listen to the disgusting drone of his voice. ^_^

The other day, dad and I drove around and found the burnt-out shell of mum's car. Oh, it's quite lovely. I hope they catch the fuckers who did it--the morons grabbed a lunchbox from in mum's car when they did it and threw it out of the car. I think she was going to talk to the police about it, maybe check for fingerprints or something. Gonna buy a new vehicle this weekend, huzzah.

I need to finish this picture for a certain someone whose name I won't mention as they have LJ. :P But I'm so sleepy... hard for me to concentrate. Even though colouring doesn't overly take that much in terms of thought processes, I guess. *yawn*

You. Yes. YOU. Come here and... leave a comment here and I'll--

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.

From killingprodigy, as usual; where else would I snitch my time-wasters from?

We got a visit from the police this morning! Guess whose car was found down at Oyster Cove (~10 minutes drive, if that, for those not from this area) all burnt out? :D

Not mine, but mum's, at least. Her much-beloved Ford Festiva. Window was smashed with a brick, and then, upon finding no valuables in the car, the fucktards who did this promptly went and enmassed random, wanton violence for no good fucking reason.

And yes, I'm angry right now, and dazed, and upset, and so.. ugh. Talking to KT is helping. Thank god for lovely intellectual types who a) have respect for human beings and b) who can consider things logically. Getting a course in psychology now! *grin* Somewhat calming, in an odd type of way.

But Jesus fucking Christ I fucking hate young people from around here. Scratch that--young people in general. Going to Merewether has spoiled me somewhat; I don't have to deal with the majority of goddamn assholery that goes on with the majority of normal people. And yes, I'm sheltered even more with Geeb, which is like a bastion of good faith in a way.

What makes someone do something like this... is no longer beyond me, thanks to this discussion, but it still makes no fucking sense. People who have no respect for others--they are scum of this earth. The types that Natural Selection really needed to get rid of... oh wait, sorry, we nerfed that process a long while ago.

Apparently Luke down the road had a brick through his car window not long ago, but had but a few things stolen from it and left. See, that's a far less severe crime--you can fix windows, replace the baubles you've left in your car overnight. But... fucking hell, BURNING IT? What the hell is the point of THAT?! You didn't even get to fucking drive it for long--and you'd need the petrol so it WOULD burn. My fucking God.

I just.. hate people. So much.

Rules: Comment and I'll give you a letter. In your journal, list your 10 favourite songs that begin with that letter.

Letter S from killingprodigy.

I think we're going in ascending order of coolness here! Also, this probably isn't correct entirely as I just went down my rather limited playlist.

1. Shinwa no Hate ni ~HiME to Kokuyo no Kimi~ - Yuki Kajiura
2. Shining Days - Kuribayashi Minami
3. Slide - Goo Goo Dolls
4. Still Alone - Ayumi Hamasaki
5. Saria's Song - Legend of Zelda
6. Shield For Your Eyes, a Beast in the Well on Your Hand - Melt-Banana
7. Soramimi Cake - Oranges & Lemons
8. Small Two of Pieces ~Kishinda Kakera~ - Yasunori Mitsuda
9. Shissou - LAST ALLIANCE
10. Sakura Kiss - Chieko Kawabe

Tonight was a night of win and awesome.

Braeneko and I decided to mess about on an oekaki chat together! Not the first time we've done it, but today we played a game... we gave each other a topic and had to draw it. Very fun. X3

( Pictures under the cut! )

And now, inspired by the last picture, we're going to roleplay. xD

Happy 17th Birthday, Anna! ^_^



... that means mine is in 10 days. Shit. brb suicide

So, I'm back! Hooray? ... Well Queensland is lamer than New South Wales, but it was definitely worth the trip anyway. Hey, two days off school, seeing my relatives again and--most importantly--hanging out in Brisbane with Braeneko for a day? Pretty damned awesome. Though that whole state is way too hot, sheesh, and we weren't even so far north to be in a tropical region! Blegh.

We were at my aunt's house all of every day except Monday, but we slept at my cousins' house. This was, eh... I don't really like my cousins so much, especially my second-cousins Ashley and Charli, but oh well. Our plane left at 7PM, and we arrived in the Gold Coast at...7PM. Goddamn backwards Queenslanders. We lost an hour on the way back (5PM -> 7PM) which was slightly less weird. oO;

Basically not much happened, except for Monday which was made of pure awesomeness. I sat around hearing the same questions launched at me (so how's school, what are you planning to do at university, do you have your license...and after Monday, so is Brae your boyfriend? *rolls eyes.*) until I retreated from the god-awful mugginess into the aircon with foxtel, DS and manga. Jem~ she's truly outrageous~ Oh, and She-Ra is such a man. Almost more than He-Man is. Not sure who is more of a man, really...

Monday was uberawesome!! ^___^ HANGING OUT WITH BRAE ALL DAY! XD I was so nervous on the train. It was like... it's not like meeting someone new, because I already knew him, but it's.. not like.. just going to see a random school friend, because.. ... well. I was so nervous I felt sick. But it eventually gave way to excitement and pleasant happiness and stuff. Irritated at parental presence all day, though. Sigh. Still. x3 I still got hugs!! Which are warm and nice and heeee. <3<3 And of course just being around him was like.. :D Awesomeness. I don't even know what to say really. We walked a lot. Looked at stuff. I bought $250 worth of manga, cough. (For the stalkers, Love Hina 7, 10, 11, 13, 14 [AHH I NEED 12]; Fruits Basket 1-7; and Tsubasa 3-4.) We did stuff like go on the river boat thingy for like 2 hours I swear... me and Brae sat around, talked, played Mario Kart... I nearly fell asleep on him because of the GJ Iced Chocolate I'd had earlier (goddamn addictive things)... we went in a weird foresty walky place and then the parents went and sat in a weird fake beach thingy but we stayed in a park until goddamn children kicked us out ;__; I... actually don't know what to think about Brae's parents because I was too busy being transfixed upon him. Go me and my lack of multitasking? I'unno. xD Chinatown was pretty but like so much smaller than Sydney's, but still cool. Brisbane's public transport is awesome, it's always on time and you can use tickets for like everything, and it's not lame like Newcastle's which is perpetually late... Braebrae wore his wig at first XD And I wore my panda hat! Apparently his parents hate it x3 and his parents thought I was a slut because I hugged him... stupid losers... Pretty sure my mum wants me to hook up with him or something, but then, I'm half sure she thinks I'm a lesbian and hates that fact. xD She.. also saw nothing wrong with pink wig on a guy, didn't assume homosexuality at all. Not that he is, but y'know, I was expecting a "... so is he gay?" at the end of it, all things considered. Which again leads me to the conclusion that she sees him as potential relationship material. Not that I'd ever even talk to her about relationships--she's just annoying and bugs me about stuff and it's like sigh, go away, I know, you don't need to tell every random you know about your daughter's life (which may or may not be wrong anyway)... but but Brae is superawesome anyway and he's love and awesome and ^___^ ... ... okay I'll shush now.